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I watched a movie last night with my honey and as I was sitting today I started reflecting on our time spent together. My honey is in school pursuing a Doctorate so Tuesday is usually an early bed night because of the Monday late night homework cram. I knew my honey had a busy work day yesterday so I sent a text and asked about availability for the evening (forgetting that it was the early night). The response “For you? Yes!” I was super geeked like a child on Christmas morning. When my honey got home we cooked dinner together, got the kids settled, then watched 21 Jump Street cuddled on the couch (which is hilarious by the way). We also did something we rarely do (unfortunately but we’re working on it) closed our computers and ignored our cell phones. After the movie my honey reminded me that it was Tuesday and I apologized because I forgot. I said I love you, gave my honey a kiss, and we went to bed.

My reflection today was based on appreciation. Often times we take our significant others for granted with the expectation that he or she will be around whenever we are ready for them. We allow people, our children, jobs, and whatever else to dominate our lives without considering the effects. Now don’t get me wrong our children are important but just as we invest in them, we have to invest in our relationships.

We also forget to appreciate the simple things. I am thankful that even though my honey was tired, time was given to me willingly. I didn’t get a roll of the eyes or sucking of teeth, just a simple “For you? Yes!” Some people feel that spending time has to be some extravagant event or long-winded but sometimes the simple things are more meaningful. Yes I love to be “wined and dined” but I also love to cuddle with my honey and watch a TV show or movie. Both give me a sense of satisfaction because it’s not about the money spent, it’s about spending time with each other and giving and receiving love.

I believe that love is an action word so when you love someone your actions should demonstrate that. We cannot assume that our significant others know that we love him or her if we never take the time to show them.  I am an action person. I can hear a person talking but if his or her actions do not match (or at least heading in that direction), his or her words are meaningless to me.

One area my honey and I talked about is making sure we take time for ourselves as we did in the beginning of this relationship. We allowed ourselves to get caught up in the lives of our five children, school, and work, forgetting about each other. It got to a point where we allowed ourselves to be so busy that a week or two would go by before we stopped long enough to look at each other even though we slept in the same bed every night. We were not angry with each other, we were just living our lives on a running motor going from one activity to the next. (Our children had activities six out of seven days a week) They were happy but we were breaking down and beginning to resent one another without realizing it.

At some point all relationships get off track, especially if you are parents of active children; however, you can’t stay there. You cannot become so comfortable with your significant other that you begin to take them for granted. It’s not fair nor is it right. It is better to appreciate them while they are there than have regrets and recognize what you had if they walk away.

I challenge everyone to take a moment to show your significant other that you love them. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, some people appreciate a simple phone call or an unsolicited hug. Find that one thing (that you use to do) that your significant other appreciated and bring it back. Call or text them in the middle of the day just to say “I love you”. Smile when they walk in the door. Look up from your computer long enough to acknowledge their presence when they come home (I have been guilty of that). Put on their favorite outfit. Turn your cell phone ringer off for an hour to focus on them. Play a game. Try something! It takes a simple step, what is yours going to be?

P.S. This challenge is not limited to intimate relationships. It can apply to any human relationship. The bottom line is, don’t take people for granted.

One love,

MJ

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