This is one of my favorites also. I put this one on repeat and it left me in tears. Take a listen…
Aaron Hurst is an up and coming artist/producer who truly has a heart of worship. He dabbles in several genres of gospel music (rock, soul, crunk, quartet style etc.) but it is something about him in worship that allows our hearts and ears to open. It’s like the anointing of God smacks him and everyone around him leaving every part of our being open to receive what God has for us. I have witnessed this young man open his heart to God and live by a “God just use me” attitude. I look forward to continuing to watch this man of God grow and reach the nations.
I introduce to you my artist of the week…Aaron Hurst.
My last post on 7/2/2012 spoke about my best friend/ex-husband/children’s father receiving a diagnosis of Leukemia that shook our foundation. On 7/7/2012 he left this earth leaving me to question everything I know. I was talking to my other half yesterday and realized how big a role he played in my everyday life. In the 10 years we have known each other, I can count on my hands how many weeks we did not communicate in some form even after divorce. If a week went by without talking it was odd and we knew something was wrong.
Many people questioned our relationship/friendship after divorced oftentimes followed by negative words. He would call me frustrated and I would remind him that people will always talk; it’s about what you believe and what is in your heart that truly matters. I was reading back through some of our old emails and I ran across one from January 8, 2009 when we were speaking about what people around him had to say. Just an excerpt:
…Truth is I love you more than even I could have imagined.
Its cool people can talk…I know in my heart and soul what I want where I want it and with whom I would like to share my life with.
Or his last non business email to me 5/30/2012 regarding our son:
I appreciate all that you do to be a consistent part in his life, and in building him to be a great young man. There is no way that I could do this without you. Situation aside you find a way to ensure that he is still in touch educationally as well as socially. You always make sure that he has whatever he needs from you to succeed to the very best of your situation. I applaud and thank you for all that is simply Joy.
I love you.
Or his last personal text message to me 6/27/2012 after I asked him about his test results:
He would call me or send me messages like this often. He started this after our son was born and continued it until two days before his death. He and I would tell each other how well we were doing as parents even with the 300 mile distance between us. We encouraged each other and remained a support. I didn’t understand it at first but his point was to tell people how you feel while their living because you never know when their end will be. God knows I didn’t expect his end to be so soon.
Lessons I learned from his life:
1. Always be true to yourself even when people put you down.
2. Make sure people dearest to you know how much you love them while they are living.
3. Don’t allow the opinions of others to make you feel like you can’t be real about how you feel. Stand up for yourself, what you feel, and what you believe because playing both sides will make you miserable.
4. People will always have something to say but you must have the courage to stand up for what you feel and believe.
5. Most importantly, when you say you love someone, show them.
We had a great relationship for a divorced couple, why because we made a choice. We decided that respecting one another was more important than holding on to any bitterness and acting foolish in front of our children. I encourage divorced parents to learn to get along. No the marriage didn’t work out but that doesn’t mean you have to further injure your children by acting like idiots. You may think holding that anger against your ex is hurting them, but the most injury is placed on your children. He and I didn’t always agree nor did we always like each other but even in those moments we found a way to communicate and find a solution. Your children have to be more important than any hurt your ex may have caused you. Think about the pictures you are placing before them. I’m sure it would break your heart if they repeated your actions as an adult. How can you teach them to be productive and responsible adults when you fail to do the same? How can you teach them to love and respect people when you show them nothing but disrespect? We are human and at some point we will hurt each other. The question is how will you handle it? Is the hurt worth leaving your child or children out there to fend for themselves? Do you love your children enough to stop the madness?
Thank you Walter PJ Coffey for helping me to become a better person. Thank you for not being afraid to tell me when I was wrong even when I didn’t like it. Thank you for always encouraging me. Thank you for making sure I knew that you loved me, or as you said “you’re the only woman I truly ever loved” even in your hospital bed. This is definitely an adjustment because you have been a constant presence in my life the last 10 years but the place in my heart for you will never fade. You will always be the first man I ever loved…Rest in peace PJ 8/14/1974-7/7/2012.
What happens in that moment when everything you believe in is tested? When the statement God won’t put more on you than you can bear feels hard to believe because what you are experiencing is breaking you down? When you are left to wonder “God why me?” or “God why them?” When you love and care about someone so much that you want to drop everything to go make sure they are okay. When you hear news that make your heart drop to your feet? I have so much running through my mind trying to make sure my next step is the right step. Do I go or do I stay? Do I make an unpopular decision or do I avoid confrontation? No matter how much you prepare for life changes the reality is, you’re never ready. My best friend was given a diagnosis that caught us off guard. He and I thought we were prepared and now that we are faced with the challenge our foundation is shaken to a point of fear, uncertainty (him) and numbness (me). Although I was in a similar place not to long ago, I hurt for him because I just want to see him happy and whole. So what do you do?
What I learned from my experiences….sickness and disease are just a name and only have the power you give them. Your attitude determines much; The people around you determine much. During my time of challenges I had to change the people around me and surround myself with positive people who believed what I believed even if I had a moment of weakness. I surrounded myself with people who would not allow me to have self-pity and pushed me to focus on the positive. Although it was difficult at first, I eventually figured out that the negativity within myself was prolonging the process and causing me more pain. Once I changed my attitude and believed that what I was facing was not the end of me, healing took place. My mother would call it faith and now that I think about it, it was; believing things as though they were. When I didn’t have anything left I would say “all things work together for the good…” When I started to get scared “all things work together”. When the doctor told me something I didn’t want to hear “all things work together”. When I wanted to give up “all things work together”. When it looked like I wasn’t getting better “all things work together”.
Point being, when we are shaken it’s hard to remain focused at first. However, when we can see things through a positive light or as my mother would say “as God sees them”, it brings about a certain peace. Challenges will happen in life but what matters is how we handle them. Will we allow the fear to swallow us alive or will we step up in faith, change our attitude, and fight. I choose to change my attitude and step up in faith, what do you choose?